On silence

One of my plans made for the year was to really slow down my eating pace.
By far, I only managed to really eat so slow that I often lost the appetite infront of one person. I really do not know why's the case.

At such, I am trying to control my intake amount & erm... rate perhaps. I think I am gradually losing the need for eating. Of cos' I do still eat when I have to but I think what I am trying to say is that I am able to control better.

Maybe this is too early to be said. It is after all only the fourth day of the year.
I need to contain such self control for the rest of my plans.

A peace within is slowly forming its shape but I know it would be destructed faster than I'd expect if I start brooding over the confusion too soon.

And then I am becoming a little too quiet for my parents' comfort. I am not usually chatty at home but to become so quiet would be somewhat worrying,I guess. I tried to be a little more involved but I really do not see the need for such pretence.
Besides maintaining silence is my forte. It almost feels as natural as breathing.
You may think of this as being autistic .
As opposed to my silence, I don't see how opening your mouth to talk every other minute is not polluting.
I think it just works differently for everyone.

I guess...it is better this way. The way things are right now.
I hope you can recognized this instead of staying in denial which is not making things any better for me.
And then this applies to me too. Not just you but for some other too.

I need to stay away.